Lessons from Stoic Philosophy for Everyday Resilience

Lessons from Stoic Philosophy for Everyday Resilience

lived-experience #Stoic philosophy #everyday resilience #mental health

You know those days when everything feels like it's conspiring against you? Last week, I had one of those moments. I was sitting in my car, stuck in traffic, running late for an appointment, and my anxiety was through the roof. But instead of spiraling into panic (like I might have done a few years ago), I found myself remembering something I'd learned from Stoic philosophy: "Some things are up to us, and some things are not."

It might sound strange that ancient philosophy helps me manage my PTSD and anxiety, but hear me out. As a veteran and someone who's spent years navigating the choppy waters of trauma recovery, I've found that Stoic principles aren't just dusty old ideas - they're practical tools for surviving and thriving in our modern world. Let me share how these teachings have become my daily companions in building resilience.

1. Focus on What You Can Control

Picture this: It's 2015, and I'm struggling to make sense of my PTSD diagnosis. I'd just finished listening to "The Courage to be Disliked" on Audible (thank you, algorithm!), and something about that book's philosophy resonated so deeply that I started following the "you might also like" suggestions. That's how I stumbled upon Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle Is the Way." I remember thinking - great, another self-help book? Yet there was this quote from Epictetus that stopped me in my tracks:

"Some things are up to us, and some things are not."

My Control/Can't Control List

Can't Control:
  • The job market
  • Others' perceptions of military veterans
  • Past career choices
Can Control:
  • My skills and qualifications
  • How I present my experience
  • My next steps and daily actions

2. Reframe Adversity as an Opportunity

Here's something I never expected: losing my job at the college turned out to be one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Not because it was easy - it wasn't. I remember sitting in my car after clearing out my desk, having what felt like the mother of all panic attacks. But through the fog of anxiety, I remembered something Marcus Aurelius wrote:

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."

3. Cultivate Mindfulness and Presence

You know what's funny about anxiety? It's like having a time machine that only goes to the worst possible futures or most painful parts of your past. That's where Seneca's wisdom hit me hard:

"We suffer more in imagination than in reality."

🎯 Daily Mindfulness Practices:

  • Coding focus sessions
  • Mindful exercise with my EP
  • Morning coffee ritual

4. Embrace Discomfort to Build Strength

Let me tell you about my first session with my exercise physiologist. I walked in thinking, "How hard can this be?" after years of military PT. Then he had me do what seemed like a simple exercise, and suddenly I was face-to-face with how much strength I'd lost. My arthritis was screaming, my body felt like it was betraying me, and my ego was taking a serious beating.

But here's where Seneca's wisdom about voluntary hardship hit home. He believed that deliberately facing discomfort could strengthen us against life's bigger challenges. It sounds masochistic, but stay with me here.

Every Wednesday and Friday, I show up at the gym knowing it's going to be uncomfortable. Not just physically - though trust me, those sessions are no joke - but mentally too. Each rep is a small battle against the voice in my head saying "this is too hard" or "you can't do this." My EP keeps telling me to focus on form over weight, to build slowly, to trust the process. It's frustrating when you're used to pushing through pain the military way.

But here's the thing - this controlled discomfort is teaching me something valuable. When I'm struggling with a particularly challenging piece of code, or facing a difficult writing deadline, or dealing with a PTSD trigger, I can draw on this same mindset. The discomfort isn't my enemy; it's my teacher. Each time I push through a challenging gym session, I'm not just building physical strength - I'm building mental resilience.

5. Practice Gratitude and Acceptance

Here's a hard truth I've learned: acceptance isn't the same as giving up. For the longest time, I thought accepting my PTSD meant admitting defeat. I kept fighting against it, pushing myself to "get over it" or "be normal." Then I came across this quote from Marcus Aurelius:

"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength."

🎯 Gratitude Practices:

  • Morning routine
  • Embracing empathy
  • Small wins journal

Resources That Helped Me

  • The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
  • The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday
  • Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (Gregory Hays translation)
  • The Daily Stoic website and newsletter
  • Letters from a Stoic by Seneca

Connect With Me

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Feel free to reach out: